Will Marriage Counseling Save Your Marriage?
Almost daily hundreds or even thousands of men and women use the services of a marriage counselor at a rate of $100 per hour or more trying to fix a marriage. Being willing to pay this high of a rate proves couples are very interested in saving a marriage. But does marriage counseling work or are you simply flushing $100/hr down the drain?
It’s a question almost everyone will contemplate. I know I did and you probably will too. As such, before you go any further let’s look at some marriage counseling statistics.
It’s a shame but 90% of married couples who engage in marriage counseling end up getting divorced. That’s an alarming rate of failure and something you should pay close attention to.
If 90% of people seeking out marriage help from a traditional marriage counselor end up getting a divorce, what should you really be asking when considering marriage counseling?
For starters, if you’re considering going to a traditional marriage counseling session, I feel it’s necessary to ask WHY marriage counseling didn’t work 90% of the time and why sometimes it does.
Let’s discuss a few reasons why marriage counseling doesn’t work!
1) In traditional marriage counseling you’re basically spilling your guts to a complete stranger. They try to give you the warm and fuzzy feeling but when it comes down to it, they’re still a stranger trying to fix your marriage and this can be a huge obstacle.
2) To make matters worse, not only are they strangers but the only information they have to go on is that what you feed them. This basically means a complete stranger is going to try and fix your marriage based on limited information you personally provide them.
The problem with this becomes how to decide what information to provide the marriage counselor and what to hold back. Typically most married couples will concentrate and provide the wrong type of information to the therapist. This can be a death sentence for your marriage if you’re not careful.
In addition to revealing information to a complete stranger, in more cases than not, they’re going to require you to share some very private and intimate information as well. This can be very difficult and intimidating.
More often than not, this will make a lot of people uneasy. As a result, most married couples seeking traditional marriage counseling withhold information that could be crucial for their marriage help process.
3) The above two concerns most probably lead to a 90% failure rate for marriage counseling. Add to them the fact that the marriage counselor themselves could be unqualified and you’re really asking for trouble when seeking out traditional marriage counseling.
Given the startling failure rate of marriage counseling, I’m surprised married couples still seek it out. If it doesn’t work that well, what else can you do?
It seems a common solution to marriage problems is self-help instead. With this method you no longer have to worry about sharing your intimate thoughts with a complete stranger. This can be a huge benefit to saving your marriage.
However, the third concern about the marriage counselor’s credibility does come into play. At least before you had a therapist professionally trained but now instead you just have a husband and wife basically winging it.
Can this be a major problem or a chance for you to connect with your spouse and work out your marriage problems on equal footing?
So in summary, does marriage counseling work or not? We don’t quite know yet and I plan on discussing more on this blog and giving you some more insight into how my wife and I have transformed our marriage into something spectacular. Keep coming back for more.